FIONA: I have to. Just look at that sunset. A group of birds flocks out the top of the roof, startling Donkey. The princess and the unknown man land on a limb high above in the trees It is none other than Monsieur Hood, also known as Robin Hood. Ha, ha! Her sad look turns to bitterness. Right? Donkey butts his head against it and the two struggle over it. Fiona looks at Donkey and freezes with panic. Don't look down. Let's just back up a little and take this one step at a time. She hangs limply while Shrek carries her and Donkey walks behind them. They hear a trumpet fanfare from afar and head over to investigate. DONKEY: Because that's what friends do! I'm okay. Shrek arrives back home. Farquaad manically laughs as he walks over to the table. You're trying to give them a hint and they won't leave. The mention of this Lord Farquaad prompts Fiona to turn around in surprise. They judge me before they even know me. Knights, new plan! What do I have to do get a little privacy? VILLAGER 3: Yeah, it'll grind your bones for its bread. Donkey faints and falls into a pile of leaves. I ain't saying anything. (bounces and sways the bridge), SHREK: Oh, I'm sorry. They was trippin' over themselves like babes in the woods. This is good. Back there. It's hideous! DONKEY: But Shrek, I-- I wanna go with you. FARQUAAD: Indeed. 1 at the domestic box office, it went on to earn nearly $ 500 million worldwide on a production budget of $60 million. SHREK: Yeah, right before they burst into flames! Me, me! Shrek looks at Donkey for a second and then reaches to move the boulder back in front of the entrance. Shrek starts pulling down the wall and picks up a large branch. You could recite an epic poem for me. DONKEY: Hey, where you goin'? SHREK: Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime. FIONA: The battle is won. Shrek regards the handkerchief curiously and wipes off his sooty face with it, blackening it. Hey, wait a minute! SHREK: Wait a second. You were meant to charge in, sword drawn, banner flying. With Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, Julie Andrews. SHREK: You're crazy. Fiona smiles, but it quickly fades as she looks off at Duloc in the distance. Shrek turns around to see who bumped into him and glares down at Donkey. I told ya I'd find it. Shrek climbs up the chain still slung around Dragon's neck. Donkey dodges the guards as they try to grab him and runs deeper into the forest. Fiona grabs hold of the arrow and begins to pull. VILLAGER 1: Whoa. Donkey, there's no we. Shrek grabs Donkey in one arm and then grabs Princess Fiona, who has wandered into the room, with the other arm as he runs past her. I'm the talking-est damn thing you ever saw. I got a great idea! A group of birds drapes a cloak made of flowers around Shrek's shoulders, much to his annoyance. I'll never be stubborn again. SHREK: Love me? SHREK: I--there's nothing to tell. Don't mess with me. Shrek climbs to the top of a tree, using his weight to cause the tree to bend over the river and form a bridge. Shrek and Fiona travel to the Kingdom of Far Far Away, where Fiona's parents are King and Queen, to celebrate their marriage. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. It sure doesn't mean you're a coward if you're a little scared. FARQUAAD: Oh! DONKEY: Shrek, wait, wait! A large amount of guards run in and grab ahold of Shrek and Fiona. DONKEY: Uh-uh! Shrek hops over a set of ropes that appears to make up a wrestling ring. DONKEY: No. I love to talk. You look awful. He stands up with a huff. Shrek: Just with each other. SHREK: You know, maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk. She looks down and spots the sunflower left by the door. I heard the two of you talking. He looks lovingly at the swamp he calls home, and goes about his daily routine. Shrek snatches the deed out of the hands of a guard and walks away. SHREK: Do you think maybe he's compensating for something? Farquaad pulls out a dagger and holds it to Fiona's throat. Three? Donkey looks nervous, but Shrek and Fiona give him reassuring looks. Several of the characters from the movie made their way into the musical, but that doesn't mean they all stayed the same. What are you doing? ButSHHHHHH. Where is everybody? (laughs). The villager mutters to himself. If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, the first runner-up will take his place. After opening at No. No! DONKEY: Wait a minute. I'm fine. Um, good for me too. Magnitude. Look, I'm not gonna eat you. (walks off). FARQUAAD: Oh, this is precious. DONKEY: Hey, what's that? Dragon ends up in front of them and breathes fire. FARQUAAD: Then what are you waiting for? The Gingerbread Man is pulled out of the milk by Thelonious and is slammed down onto a cookie sheet. Unsee by either of them, Fiona was peeking around the cave door, eavesdropping on the conversation. This is the transcript for the 2001 film, Shrek . More dwarves run inside the house and shut the door behind them. Don't you see, Donkey? Shrek, still standing nearby with his back turned, is hurt by the comment. This doesn't seem to deter his interest. FIONA: Well then why didn't he come rescue me? FIONA: I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. Fiona wakes up and looks at him lying on the floor unconscious. Oh, man, I can't feel my toes! LITTLE PIG: Lord Farquaad. The Captain tucks tail and runs off. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. One of the guards looms over him and he begins to scurry away, muttering to himself. Farquaad chuckles then motions to the bishop to indulge Fiona. Donkey falls asleep by the fire outside. Chirpy music quietly plays from a set of loudspeakers. DONKEY: And if you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light! After breaking out of the forest, the group arrives onto a small rise where an old, ruined windmill stands. This was not Shrek's intention. You're, uhuhehdifferent. Please let me introduce myself. MERRYMEN: He's mad, he's really, really mad! DONKEY: Well you at least gotta tell Shrek the truth. Onions have layers. Shrek glances at the soldiers still aiming their crossbows and then turns back to Farquaad. DONKEY: Aww, that's beautiful. Take a good look at me, Donkey. You know, Shrek thinks Lord Farquaad's compensating for something, which I think means he has a really Shrek interrupts Donkey by stepping on his foot, causing him to fall to the ground in pain. SHREK: No, this is one of those "drop it and leave it alone" things! As he is let into the room by two guards, we can see that the man is abnormally short. FIONA: "By night one way, by day another." That was amazing! Keep your legs elevated! FARQUAAD: All right then. But that's why we gotta stick together. FARQUAAD: Silence! She points her arm to her left and Shrek turns around. I know what I smell. Take it away! SHREK: Inside, waiting for us to rescue her. SHREK: So, um, what did Fiona say about me? Shrek and Fiona ride away in their carriage. and hauls her out of bed and towards the door. All is quiet and Fiona is nowhere to be seen. I think I need a hug. FIONA: But Donkey, I'm a princess, and this is not how a princess is meant to look. Better out than in, I always say. A masked man is pouring a glass of milk. Hang on now. SHREK: Good question. I like an honest fight and a saucy little maid MERRYMEN: What he's basically saying is he likes to get MONSIEUR HOOD: Paid! FIONA: Well --yes, actually! FARQUAAD: Who cares?! No! Shrek backs away and bumps into a tree stump. -This little wooden puppet. She tosses the bouquet and lays back down, swooning. There's so much to do! It's no wonder why movie fans won't let go of the idea of Shrek 5. THE CAPTAIN: That's it. Donkey interrupts the moment. DONKEY: Wow. Because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.". Donkey sheepishly smiles and Shrek sighs in annoyance. Up. Next! Farquaad snaps his fingers and is lifted onto his horse by his guard. He continues on. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only. MONSIEUR HOOD: I steal from the rich and give to the needy. SHREK: It's on my to-do list, now come on! They are chased by Dragon through a large hall, her chain looping itself around multiple stone pillars as Shrek zigzags around them. I'm-- I'm worried about Donkey. He comes to a halt. It's a little late for that, so if you'll excuse me--. (walks towards the castle). Shrek lets go of the chain and the chandelier falls onto her head, which acts as a collar around her neck. FIONA: Well, eat up. Look I believe it's healthy to get to know someone over a long period of time. Donkey stares silently at Shrek for a moment and then sits down beside him. DONKEY: You know what else everybody likes? Montage of different scenes. DONKEY: You think Shrek is your true love! Donkey whistles loudly, and Shrek looks up to see Dragon flying overhead. Sleeping beneath a bright moon. And Shrekwellyou got a lot in common. Shrek runs inside without catching Donkey, who hits the ground hard. I mean, after all, you did rescue me. You wanna do this right, don't you? DONKEY: Man, I like you. SHREK: Believe me, Donkey, if it was me, you'd be dead. What's he like? The voice laughs. FIONA: It's the only way to break the spell. They respond positively to him and begin to do "the wave". And I know you two were diggin' on each other. She's lifted up into the air and she hovers while the magic works around her. But you can become one. Well then who was she talking about? You're-- You're--. The villager waves his torch in Shrek's face. Shrek awkwardly grins. He sits down, lights a candle made out of his own earwax, and begins eating. SHREK: (Annoyed) Oh, that's great. The bishop gasps, shuts his book, and quietly slinks off. Keep on moving. She's a loaded pistol who likes pia coladas and getting caught in the rain. Donkey, frantic, begins to scamper around hysterically. (Suggestively raises his eyebrows). Shrek yanks on the door handle only for it to snap off. (laughs). Attention allfairy tale things. Donkey, impressed by Shrek, follows him. Suddenly an accordion begins to play and the Merrymen pop out from the bushes. The sooner, the better. FIONA: Oh! Tutorial. We must be getting close. Don't let them do this! FIONA: Well, yesbut I don't understand. Not there! All you have to do is marry a princess. That's my tail! He clears his throat and the table is lowered. Shrek (Script) Lyrics SHREK Written by William Steig & Ted Elliott SHREK Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. DONKEY: Oh, good. You're She turns to see Shrek slide down the hill and crash into Donkey. A big, stupid, ugly ogre!" The Three Blind Mice in the movie were changed from being 3 older men to 3 young women. BISHOP: And so, by the power vested in me BISHOP: I now pronounce you husband and wife DONKEY: Mother Fletcher! Well, gentlemen, I bid thee good night. Donkey sniffs the eggs and licks his lips. Your future awaits you. Dragon chases after them, the chain of the chandelier still unraveling. (to her stomach) Can you hear me? DONKEY: --a girl dragon! They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin Shrek slowly approaches as the villagers back away in fear. I had strong gases leaking out of my butt that day. The guards laugh at the Mirror's joke. FIONA: Lord Farquaad, I accept. That's 20 pieces of silver for the witch. MONSIEUR HOOD: Oh! That's bad. She hits higher and higher notes and the bird struggles to keep up with her. 20% Off with code OUTDOORSALE Come on, give it up for Snow White! (the dragon growls) Oh, what large teeth you have! SHREK Not fast enough. SHREK: Like that's ever gonna happen. He wipes his mouth and waits for the villagers to stop screaming. She roars again and Shrek and Donkey take off running. The audience goes wild. Donkey makes ready to run over and pull the lever again but Shrek quickly grabs him by the tail. A knight comes from behind Shrek with his spear ready to attack. SHREK: Oh you can't tell me you're afraid of heights. I order you to get that out of my sight now! FIONA: My only chance to live happily ever after is to marry my true love. I'd-- uh, uh(sighs) I'm in trouble. He looks down and picks up a wanted poster dropped by one of the villagers. SHREK: No? Who'd want to live in place like that? The villagers stop outside Shrek's home, unaware that Shrek is sneaking up behind them. Donkey looks at Shrek with a new eye. I live alone! They sprint as fast as they can out of the castle and onto the rickety bridge as Dragon breathes a huge fireball behind them. Unsuccessful, the group arrives onto a cookie sheet the spell and shut the door house shut! 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